Ya'll - I have no interest in sharing with a bunch of strangers when my husband and I plan to start trying for babies because that is extremely personal and private. BUT I do think I want to begin sharing more on what steps I am taking to be my best self if/when we decided to expand our family unit.
I know that mindset plays a huge role in becoming pregnant and birthing a baby. The mind is a powerful thing, and our thoughts do matter. Furthermore, the mind keeps us protected in ways we might not be aware of.
It is for these reasons that I've chosen to dedicate time to therapy (right now I go 2x per month) as a way to gain awareness of my coping mechanisms (or how I act under stress), my patterns or behavioral tendencies, and my self-talk.
Tendencies may never change - I may always have the tendency to make quick decisions based in emotion, but I now have the full awareness that I tend to do so, can actually see when I am in this frame of mind, and take steps to stop and ask if it's a decision my gut (intuition) is saying to go with or simply the emotion space I'm in.
Habits, self-talk, and how I'll eventually speak to a child are all malleable though. I have control of changing the way I do some of these things and the way my self-talk and thoughts go.
It's important to me that I notice when I'm projecting and when I'm being objective. It's important to me that I've done this work and know myself so well I can no longer hide behind poor habits and unhealthy tendencies. It's important because it affects my level of health, and I want to be as healthy as I can be for myself, and then eventually for my family.
I know that pregnancy exacerbates postural discrepancies, and I really don't want to be in pain for 9 months, so I dedicate moving for 30 minutes a day in order to keep my muscles strong and to improve my posture.
I also started going back to the chiropractor monthly as well, which helps to reinforce what I'm doing in my workouts and keep my alignment and tissues healthy.
I eat foods that promote hormonal balance and provide energy without taxing the digestive system or increasing inflammation in the body.
Roots, fruits, proteins, and saturated fats are my stable items, but I don't restrict from other things like sourdough bread or rice, homemade pasta, cheese, or wine! We read our labels and eat as clean as possible 80% of the time, and it works.
Reconnecting with my intuition and letting that drive my eating is also a big component. Asking "what does my body need today?" and filling that need with a good choice.
Having the birth support that I want is also really important to me.
How much money would it cost to have the birth of my dreams? I would like to hire a birth doula and a postpartum doula, a midwife, attend birth classes, take supplements, continue chiropractic care and massages, and go to pelvic floor PT. What does that cost? How much do we need to have saved?
At this point, we have the luxury of being in some control over if/when we start a family, and the more I connect deeper to myself, the more I want to take my time. My health and wellness is my main priority - if I am going to be the best wife, mother, friend, sister, and practitioner - I need to start doing the work the get there. I also really enjoy my life right now - freedom, slow mornings, and opportunity - and I am focusing on being truly present during this season.
Maybe you're reading this thinking I'm nuts - that I could easily still be a wonderful mother without all of the above. And I agree. Women rise to the challenge every day, but for me, taking my time feels really good. Motherhood is a step into extreme selflessness - which is a beautiful thing. However, I'm in the mindset right now to only focus on myself (and spirituality) and my relationship with TJ - the true foundation of our family starts with us.
So if you are like me, and find yourself in the season of waiting to start a family, consider taking the time to be fully present, to make choices that foster whole health, and allow you to be your best self daily while truly enjoying this season.